Today I am thankful for God choosing me.
“I don’t want to
get up God!.” I complained, as I gathered the covers around my chin. Whether or not God is really telling me to ‘Get
up’ or not, I’m not sure and yet I often find my drowsy, ”Just five more minutes”
directed towards him.
I had planned to get up early this morning so that I
could spend extra time with Jesus, just like I had planned the day before and yet didn't. Finally I did get up, more to do with the roster screaming his head off then with conviction. As I waited for my coffee on the stove I went
outside the gate to see the sunrise, the sun was just beginning to peak over
the mountains. I could hear drums beating and singing in the distance and felt
ashamed of myself, here I am greeting the day, Thanksgiving day, with
complaints and the Didinga people rise early to dance.
The sunrise was
beautiful and I exhaled as I thought how much I really do love early mornings (Once I'm up) and how beautiful it is in Nagishot. After pouring my cup of coffee and
grabbing my Bible, I began walking to a reading spot, I saw Mama Josh (the
pastors wife) on the way, planting a field of tomatoes, she greeted me and said
“Happy Thanksgiving!” Mama Josh remembering that it is Thanksgiving is just like
her, not because she has a great memory or loves American holidays, rather, she
remembers because she knows it’s important to us, so she chooses to
remember.
Anyway, back to the subject, when I finally did start reading and
spending time with God…I was reflecting on being here in Didinga, and how in so
many ways it is the fulfillment of my heart’s desire. I started to think about
who God could have called instead of me to be here. A doctor would be so useful
or an actual trained teacher, maybe someone who has experience overseas or is
gifted with languages, or maybe just someone who doesn't complain when raising
early in the mourning, instead he chose ME to come…Why?
If you are faithful reader of my blogs you know that grammar and
spelling are not my strong suit. You may think that I just don’t use spell
check or re-read over my writing, nope, I agonize over it and yet it’s still
full of glitches. I have to fight my pride every time I post something,
because, I know it’s probably not perfect and it’s embarrassing to me. Today I
am thankful for even my academic weakness, I'm even thankful that I am clumsy
and scatterbrained and that I say the wrong things all the time. The other day
I told our South Sudan director that 'I've always wanted to work in a
brothel.' It wasn't until his confused look, that I realized my mistake, "I mean with WOMEN, WOMEN in brothels...You know to share the gospel!”
Oh, I could go on and on but I won’t… You may be wondering why am sharing this with you? Strangely, today I am thankful for my
weaknesses, is not because they are good, rather it's because I believe the goodness
of God can be shown through them.
God loves to use the unlikely, the incapable
and the unworthy, Why? So that his grace can be shown through them. If I can do
anything good here in Didinga, it isn't me, It must certainly be God because I am incapable, I am
unlikely, I am unworthy but I am so thankful God has brought me here to
Didinga! I am blessed to be able to share Gods word. I would chose no other
life, I am so blessed! This has been the most fulfilling time in my life. Not
necessarily because God is using me but rather because I know he wants too and he can.
Isn't it beautiful! I'll welcome weakness if Gods strengths
can be seen clearer! Bring on humiliation if Gods glory can be shown
brighter! I want to show Gods glory through my life. You see you cannot show Gods glory without seeing it
yourself…And it is the most beautiful thing in all heaven and earth.
As David
said, “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would
rather be a doorkeeper in the in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of
the wicked."
Also, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: That I
may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the
beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his Temple."
Even though my Thanksgiving is different than most Americans…For
instance, I am the only American in Nagishot at present and my fine meal consisted of leftover soup I made yesterday, if I get real crazy I’ll make some
popcorn… Yet, my heart is so utterly content and thankful.
Who cares about my frailty or imperfection being seen when I am confident I am fully known as well as fully loved by the one I care about most?
I wrote this in my Journal today…It doesn't exactly
rhyme… but for my sake, pretend it does.
He uses fishermen as Apostles, shepherds as kings, the
stuttering as speakers to set nations free. He turns harlots into mothers
birthing great queens and kings. He uses sinners and beggars and he can
use you and me.
He changed little into much and water into wine, death into life,
persecutors into preachers, Old women into warriors, The perverse and profane
are now fetching glory to His name. Yes, He who walks on seas can change you
and me.
As I beat my chest, crying “Mercy unto me!” Finding his love
abundantly free, I thank God who for the wonder of his glory can use you and
me.
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Today's Sunrise. |
Alright, I'm not going to agonize over this one...I'm going to go make some popcorn! Happy Thanksgiving!